At times I want this blog to be notable. Regal. Intellectual. Thought provoking.
But that can also be boring. Hence, the reason every Friday post blends in a little humor, and today’s shares an extra dash of embarrassing quirks from childhood. Quirks volume one here.
+Earthworms. After it rained and the earthworms littered the ground, I’d don my rollerskates and ‘save’ them, tossing them back into the soaked earth from which they sought to escape. I don’t do this anymore. OK, maybe I did once or twice in the last year.
+Hot Dogs. I didn’t eat hot dogs for about five years durning my elementary school days as I’d been told they were made of earthworms. I save earthworms, not eat them = childhood logic.
+I Pledged Allegiance to a Christmas Tree. Real Christmas trees always adorned our home, but one year it grew, even in it’s little tree stand. It actually got taller. I felt badly that the poor guy would be tossed into our woods behind the woodpile. It was growing, after all. So what makes a Christmas tree feel better? Singing to it. Christmas carols. I promised the tree that I’d never forget all it had done for us. The odd ritual only lasted a week or so, but that tree died a slow death while being saranaded by a nine-year-old. Kinda like The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstien. Only not really.
+Inappropriate Nicknames. As a kid, I often went for the laugh in most circumstances. Still do. I think I was simply going for the laugh when I called my third grade art teacher a prostitute. Something like ‘oh yeah, we’ll you’re just a prostitute.’ Hmmmm. I’d never been removed from a classroom faster than I was on that day. I honestly had no idea what a prostitue was, though I imagine when I first heard the word used by others, their audience laughed so I thought I’d give it a try. Bad idea.
There’s more. Oh, yes, there’s plenty more. But that’s a start and you can read quirks volume one here.
In the meantime, please tell me I’m not alone. What kinds of crazy did you do when you were a kiddo? Leave a reply below so we can all get a chuckle…
***
Don’t Miss a Thing: Subscribe to this Blog
Dear Andrew,
You are truly my son since I save earthworms also . . . that is my first admission to anyone beside Tyler who already knows!
Never knew you sang to our Christmas tree after it went to the back yard on the bank of the Black River. Your sensitivity for so many facets of life is wonderful.
In kindergarten, I LOVED Tootsie Rolls so was found by my teacher on my hands and knees “searching” for the smell of one I detected somewhere in the room.
Oh! I also “save baby bunnies, birds, and stray creatures-as you well know.
Mom
I didn’t know about your ultra-sensitive Tootsie Roll sniffing nose!
And yes, how I know about the bunnies, bird, squirrels, ducks, kitties, salamanders, frogs . . . 😉
As a child, I often interviewed myself for National Geographic. Although I scoured the pages of that esteemed periodical, I had never once found there an article about a family such as ours. Their readership would no doubt welcome the change of pace from discussions of Africa, Siberia or Amazon Rainforests, and relish reading about a large homeschooling family in Indiana. Of course, to avoid being bullied by other members of said large homeschooling family, I only conducted these interviews when I was absolutely by myself. So, yes: I talked to myself on the toilet. In a British accent. Because, of course, all the best anthropologists come from England.
That is fan-tas-tic! British accent on the toilet. Good stuff!
amazingly, i was a quiet kiddo and never got into any trouble… (that my big brother didn’t take the blame for) – hee hee…
I can definitely comment on the earthworm thing. I think I was about 5 or 6 when I decided to keep one as a pet – yes, a pet – because my folks wouldn’t get me a puppy. I made what I thought was a lovely little habitat of dirt and grass and a few pebbles in an old shoe box and I remember sitting on the edge of the patio, box in my lap, staring down at the little world I had created. One day I got the idea to wash him, with soap and water. Needless to say this was a well-meaning but completely misguided act on my part and Worm did not survive. Which gives credence to my parents decision to hold off on the puppy for a few years…
By the way, I discovered your blog in your bio in the playbill from 24 Hour Plays, which were wonderful!! You were my favorite actor of the evening, followed closely by the coyote in The Prophet, which as of course you know turns out to be your lovely wife, Sarah. I am enjoying your blog ever so and will be a regular reader. Thanks, Andrew!
I LOVE the story about your pet worm. So sad. So charming.
Thanks for your compliments about 24 Hour Plays. It was a thrilling pleasure for both Sarah and myself to participate in such a creative venture.
Thanks for reading Susan!
My story’s a bit sad, yet oddly entertaining.
Our family once went to the lake, and my brother and I wanted to keep some clams we found there as pets.
Not asking our parents, we simply gathered a few, placed them in a plastic bag, and took them home. I think we might have put some grass in the bag for them to eat.
Needless to say, they didn’t last very long. On the other hand, it took WEEKS for the smell in our room to clear.
Poor clams.
Funny that ‘kid logic’ told you to give them some grass to eat.